The Pay It Forward Parents Club

Baby Abel in hand-me-down exersaucer. Photo © Chris Bernstein

When I was pregnant with my son -- who is the only grandchild on my side of the family as well as one of the youngest of the offspring among my social circle – one of my friends asked me, “Is there anything you need? We are getting rid of our baby stuff.” Her youngest was two. She gave me, among other things, a changing table, a jogging stroller, two big bins of boy clothes, a breast pump, books, toys and assorted small items.

I was incredulous. “Are you sure you don’t want to put all this on Craigslist?

“No, I just want to pass it along to another mother. One day you’ll do the same.”

I was touched and delighted by her generosity. Several other friends made similar gestures, so by the time our baby shower came along, we already had half the stuff on our list.

As my son grew, I set aside all of his gear and hand-me-downs with the hopes that my sister would also be a parent someday (no pressure, Marnie!). But in the past year (Abel is now four), the mountain of stuff had grown out of control . . . not just in our own storage area, but my parents’ as well. We’re talking 14 bins of clothes and books, plus exersaucers, bouncy seats, potty chairs, etc. Crazy amounts of stuff. Something had to be done.

My sister very graciously offered to sort through the clothing and select the things she thought she might actually use for her hypothetical future children. Those were set aside, along the gear that would stand the test of time. But still that left us with about 8 bins.

So I went on a giving binge.

I accosted other mothers at preschool. “Do you need any clothes for your little boy? Can I give you a big bag hand me downs?”

I brought four huge boxes of books to the library, where donations are resold at semi-annual sales. Then I went back with another bin full of toddler toys for their playgroup.

I brought additional bags of clothes and toys to Sowing Seeds, the local clothing bank.

And then I listed the rest on Freecycle.

In a matter of days it was all gone, and I felt great. Better still, I’d made several other mothers, not to mention a few charities, pretty happy.

Over the years, I’ve become a hub of sorts for hand-me-downs. One friend will give me a bag of her 7-year-old daughter’s castoffs, and I’ll pass it along to a different friend for her six-year-old. Someone else will ask, “Do you know anyone who needs baby gear?” and after a few emails, I’ll be dropping off a carload of stuff to a mom who thought she was done after #3, got rid of all her baby stuff, and then had an “oops” a year later. Those mothers are especially grateful. It really sucks to get rid of all your gear and then have to acquire it from scratch all over again.

So I’ve started to call this system my Pay It Forward Parent Club. There are numerous benefits. First, we’re reducing, reusing and recycling, which is good for the earth! Second, we’re helping families all over town to save hundreds of dollars – everything is given for free. Third, we’re providing a simple, guilt-free way to pass along the stuff we’re done with – no stressing over the bags full of clothes clogging up your basement: just give it to me and I’ll find a new home for it. And it makes EVERYONE involved feel good. Especially me, because it addition to making other families happy, I get some really nice hand-me-downs for Abel.

Available this week: red metal tricyle, Melissa & Doug toddler piano, toddler leash (blue).


Nearly every toy in this picture was acquired via the Pay It Forward system, or (later) distributed by it. Piano is currently available -- just ask! Photo © Chris Bernstein.